My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
