I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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