you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
i think my cat just said my name.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
