my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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