Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
