i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
wow bdsm is so cute
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
