I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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