omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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