I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
