he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
