I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
