I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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