Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
