you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Randomize
