So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
