its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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