I like to think it a success when the cops are called
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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