Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
