oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
