i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
