If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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