i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
