I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
You can't just leave with hair like that
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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