I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
