If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
