Don't you send me to vm
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
