The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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