My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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