i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
