nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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