He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
