Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
