We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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