you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
