I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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