I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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