You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
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