i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
