He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Randomize
