didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
