In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Randomize
