that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
