I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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