That's when you crack a 10am beer
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
