lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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