Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
