he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
