How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
