It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
