I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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