Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
