and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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